A:Boot up.
B:Which server?
A:Up.
B:Up who?
A:The server.
B:Which?
A:Boot up.
B:Boot up what server?
A:No no what server should stay up!
B:I don't know.
A:No no that's our web server.
B:Your web server is "I don't know"?
A:Yes. But nevermind, we need to boot up.
B:What server?
A:What server should stay up.
B:I'm ASKING YOU THAT! WHAT SERVER SHOULD STAY UP?
A:Certainly.
B:Oh at last! So certainly should stay up. Ok, so I should boot what server?
A:No no no, what server should stay up!
B:Certainly.
A:OK, so now boot up!
B:AAAAARGH! What does that server do?
A:It's a mail server.
B:So, what you get mail what server does it say in the headers it's from?
A:No no, what server's our web server. It says it's from up.
B:What do you mean up? Mail can't come from up!
A:It can if it's our mail server.
B:You're mail server is called "it" and it should boot it up?
A:No no no! It's our DNS server! We should be booting up!
B:So we should be booting it up?
A:No. We should be booting up.
B:THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
		

%% (fortunes)
X windows:
	Accept any substitute.
	If it's broke, don't fix it.
	If it ain't broke, fix it.
	Form follows malfunction.
	The Cutting Edge of Obsolescence.
	The trailing edge of software technology.
	Armageddon never looked so good.
	Japan's secret weapon.
	You'll envy the dead.
	Making the world safe for competing window systems.
	Let it get in YOUR way.
	The problem for your problem.
	If it starts working, we'll fix it.  Pronto.
	It could be worse, but it'll take time.
	Simplicity made complex.
	The greatest productivity aid since typhoid.
	Flakey and built to stay that way.

One thousand monkeys.  One thousand MicroVAXes.  One thousand years.
	X windows.
%%
X windows:
	It's not how slow you make it.  It's how you make it slow.
	The windowing system preferred by masochists 3 to 1.
	Built to take on the world... and lose!
	Don't try it 'til you've knocked it.
	Power tools for Power Fools.
	Putting new limits on productivity.
	The closer you look, the cruftier we look.
	Design by counterexample.
	A new level of software disintegration.
	No hardware is safe.
	Do your time.
	Rationalization, not realization.
	Old-world software cruftsmanship at its finest.
	Gratuitous incompatibility.
	Your mother.
	THE user interference management system.
	You can't argue with failure.
	You haven't died 'til you've used it.

The environment of today... tomorrow!
	X windows.
%%
X windows:
	Something you can be ashamed of.
	30%% more entropy than the leading window system.
	The first fully modular software disaster.
	Rome was destroyed in a day.
	Warn your friends about it.
	Climbing to new depths.  Sinking to new heights.
	An accident that couldn't wait to happen.
	Don't wait for the movie.
	Never use it after a big meal.
	Need we say less?
	Plumbing the depths of human incompetence.
	It'll make your day.
	Don't get frustrated without it.
	Power tools for power losers.
	A software disaster of Biblical proportions.
	Never had it.  Never will.
	The software with no visible means of support.
	More than just a generation behind.

Hindenburg.  Titanic.  Edsel.
	X windows.
%%
X windows:
	The ultimate bottleneck.
	Flawed beyond belief.
	The only thing you have to fear.
	Somewhere between chaos and insanity.
	On autopilot to oblivion.
	The joke that kills.
	A disgrace you can be proud of.
	A mistake carried out to perfection.
	Belongs more to the problem set than the solution set.
	To err is X windows.
	Ignorance is our most important resource.
	Complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems.
	Built to fall apart.
	Nullifying centuries of progress.
	Falling to new depths of inefficiency.
	The last thing you need.
	The de facto substandard.

Elevating brain damage to an art form.
	X windows.
%%
X windows:
	We will dump no core before its time.
	One good crash deserves another.
	A bad idea whose time has come.  And gone.
	We make excuses.
	It didn't even look good on paper.
	You laugh now, but you'll be laughing harder later!
	A new concept in abuser interfaces.
	How can something get so bad, so quickly?
	It could happen to you.
	The art of incompetence.
	You have nothing to lose but your lunch.
	When uselessness just isn't enough.
	More than a mere hindrance.  It's a whole new barrier!
	When you can't afford to be right.
	And you thought we couldn't make it worse.

If it works, it isn't X windows.
%%
X windows:
	You'd better sit down.
	Don't laugh.  It could be YOUR thesis project.
	Why do it right when you can do it wrong?
	Live the nightmare.
	Our bugs run faster.
	When it absolutely, positively HAS to crash overnight.
	There ARE no rules.
	You'll wish we were kidding.
	Everything you never wanted in a window system.  And more.
	Dissatisfaction guaranteed.
	There's got to be a better way.
	The next best thing to keypunching.
	Leave the thrashing to us.
	We wrote the book on core dumps.
	Even your dog won't like it.
	More than enough rope.
	Garbage at your fingertips.

Incompatibility.  Shoddiness.  Uselessness.
	X windows.